First Law -- If anything can go wrong with the experiment, it will.
Second Law -- No matter what result is anticipated, there is always someone who is willing to fake it.
Third Law -- No matter what occurs, there is always someone who believes it happened according to his pet theory.
Finagles' Creed -- Science is true. Don't be misled by facts.
Patrick's Theorems: If the experiment works you must be using the wrong equipment.
Skinner's Constant: That quantity which, when added to, subtracted from, divided by, or multiplied into the answer you got, gives the correct answer.
Allen's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.
Gumberson's Law: The probability of a given event occuring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
Compensation Corollary: An experiment may be considered successful if no more than half of the data must be discarded to obtain agreement with your theory.
Carlson's Consolation: No experiment is a complete failure; it can always be used as a bad example.
From Calley's Home Page