Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Alternative Version of of Belinda's Natl Post Oped

The real issue facing Canada: competitiveness
Belinda Stronach, National Post
There has been a great deal of talk lately about competitiveness -- in part, triggered by Bill Gates' recent visit to Ottawa, and pundits' reaction to the federal budget.
But first we must ask: What is competitiveness? . . .
Competitiveness is being in a room full of blondes when you've just dyed your hair red. Or brunette. Just to get that little edge over the others.
Competitiveness is trying to compete for attention from a former leader of the free world when every woman in the room has him in her sights.
Competitiveness is dealing with the brazen hussy of a wife of a hockey thug when she accuses you of being a homebreaker, and not even smearing your lipstick.
Competitiveness is being the only chick in a debate against a pack of wolves and resisting the urge to flick your bangs dismissively when they try to accuse you of of being a spoiled brat.
and, Competitiveness is dealing with very important files and figuring our where in the filing cabinet each one goes.

Yes. Canada needs to deal with competitiveness better.
That's why, today, I am announcing the establishment of a new Canadian Party. I'm calling it the BLOC POC (Belinda Liberal or Conservative Party of Canada).

I will be the first leader, and will offer each new member a sample of my clothing and an invitation to a really cool party at my old very chic bar in Summerhill (Belinda's). You remember - the one I closed down because Dad thought it cost too much and I was hanging out with a bad crowd.

I hope that you will join me. Former Presidents and Former Hockey Players are especially invited.

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