Evening Blue Lemons Report Newman Duff May 11

Newman - Duceppe to run, more seats for big provinces, absolutely unadulterated nothingness else except for a few digs to make the CPC look like a bunch of fascist incompetents that happen to be the government that supports the great secret neo-nazi-zionist conspiracy that is backed by the jooos to tie up everybody but themselves and tickle them until they die laughing.

Duff - Duceppe, good riddance, more seats for big provinces.
Van Loan on more seats for Big P's. Gives invite to Duff for birthday party for senate reform. Old Grit farts don't want to be fired again, years after most of them were fired by the electorate. (concept credit to Ambrose Bierce) Duff asks Van Loan when will it end, the delay of legislation, the spitting in the shoes, the pissing in the orange juice (original joke available on request). Says Big P's have 21,000 mre people per riding and rep by pop principle has been ignored, will be restored.

Newman on PQ leader race... Who cares? They will elect some doofus to lead the party who thinks he can steal more money by being leader of a small country than he can steal by being part of a big one. Revealed that Duceppe was an avid Marxist/Maoist when young. We can't have a marxist in our government can we?? (Jack Layton) I mean there's no way that we would ever elect a commie in this wealthy capitalist country? (Dawn Black). This is impossible! (Olivia Chow). Susan Bonner admits that there is someone is smarter than her. CBC first.

Duff - Harper rallying the troops. PMSH at his very best in Petawawa. TaliTubby Alexa and Ruby D. They lay huge credit and support to the soldiers. Despite the fact that they want to send soldiers to war crime trials, they entirely support them. Alexa says that PMSH crediting the soldiers is "boosterism". She says Afstan senate says we should "stop the insurgency". Alexa - ain't that what we're trying to do? Or ain't you been listening.

Duff - New no-fly list in Canada. Fantastic. I hope that smelly guy I had to sit next to en route to Vancouver is on it. Alexa says this is a terrific idea, hope they do it so then we can criticize it. Says Haroon Saddiqui is an enormously well respected journalist? Yeah sure - by Al Qaida.

Scott Reid (the honest, handsome and quiet-spoken CPC MP) on Newman along with Karen Redman on committees, which are all like dysfunctional Addam's families. Her hair totally grey - continues to eschew image consultant further to Dion dictum "we must never allow our 'air to look well or our scent to be too well, neither, or we too will be charged by media for being fancy boys and girls and not with substantive."

Does Steffi have what it takes? Duff to Linda Diebel of the Red Star. She says, yes, if a party wants to be run like the Toronto Maple Leafs. He has this in spades. She says it was Aline not Jean C that really liked him. But then again, Aline married Jean Chretien, maybe not the best judge... Why is he hated by the Liberal leadership? - from Duff. Finally looked up and noticed her hair and lips - does Diebel have an image consultant? Some work done there. Hated because he was the loser that defeated the winners who ran. She uses the Lemon line, he is "incomprehensible in English".

Scottie and Timmie on Duff - wait all week for this. Talk on leaker. Story of young anarchist by nite and archivist by day. Powers says there is an oath taken, police looking into. Duff says he looks like he wanted to be elected. Scott says it's okay to break the law. Scott drops the George Bush line, says Nixonian purge of enemies. Ever been a civil servant handcuffed by Liberals? No, of course not, they're all Liberals. Crocker Whistle Blower on Senate Liberals trying to get to Afstan. Powers says we will see. Scott admits to breaking laws, Powers denies he ever did. Chat descends into stupidity on both sides. Duff comments on how the little orphan anarchy cleaned himself up for his media conference. Duff on Iggy's 60th borrows Clinton line - "Too young to retire and too old to remember you're married."

Newman's Press Pundits - Weston says that a good chance that a lot of PQ voters will move to CPC. Newman says this is stupid and naive. Travesty says this is stupid that Quebecers are cowards and socialists so will never vote CPC when guys they've never met from Valcartier start dying in the thousands in Afstan. Delacourt not on damn shame. Bozo the Anarchist statement featured. The RCMP has become a rogue force on its own. CBC Chris Hall says CPC and RCMP are fascists. Are there any journalists in Canada that don't hate the CPC? Travesty says that a definite crime, waht's his name is now a celebrity and good for his band.

Duff's press gang. LaPierre makes surprise visit, with Galloway and Joel Denis Bellevance. So. Refer back to previous point on PQ thievery. Consensus is that condom head will have tight race. Duceppe not all that popular and will be between Marois, Lapieere surprised that he's running. JD says poll will show that he would lose. Iggy will be quoted tomorrow that we should not allow the LPOC to be taken over by environmental lobbyist. Lapierre on Dion - says a lot of work to do - 4 by elections in Quebec - and will be rough ride for him. DION WAS GIVING AWAY TICKETS TO A FUNDRAISER IN MONTREAL. Same thing happened last month in Toronto.

All in all a better than even show. Friday seems to be the best nite for the Newman Duff hour - maybe because everyone has either had, or can't wait to have, an adult cocktail. 7/10